SOULFUL TRAIN

Being able to write from the heart, and never being afraid to express an emotion that you truly feel, is utterly vulnerable.



It’s as it goes man! A song triggered the events of the past & as it played I found myself in a soulful train back to where we is originated. And at this point I realized what we had is like a broken mirror its better to leave it than wound yourself trying to pick up the pieces and Most of the time we concentration on the negativity side of the story that had us awful and over look the greatness that is so dominant to defeat the dissatisfactions from the other party.



Never in my life have I had that ex whom I could think of and be so appreciative and grateful for all the experiences and the drama there ever was with, and I’m sure by now you have realized 80% of my post are about this one asshole sweet guy who played an enormous hero in my life and yeah we weren’t great and we weren’t awful either. We was tight, or so id like to believe.
If I was a singer, my album would be along the lines of Adele and Sam Smith, about this one guy who happen to give them something to write about and act like the sweet innocent prey in the album but deep down I’d be like ‘ arg shame, poor boy’. It’s quite corny isn’t it? but hey… we are not skillful in that production.  And I would write another parts of us but its adequate, he much of a celebrity already in this blog, he sure proud.



Resentment is an outcome of clinging to undesirable experiences; it obliges you no good and closes the door to your future. So, why be bitter?  It benefits nobody. There are so many things to be grateful about for gratitude is the powerful process for shifting your energy and bring more of what you want into your life. So, I shall be grateful for all I have and by doing that I will attract good things.



So to you dear ex…



Thank you for unconsciously teaching me to give, love and shine the light with all I have to make people around me joyful. I am thankful for teaching me to not over look the power ‘now’ for it is essential to never wait for later and grind then because most of the times we miss that opportunities while we on the wait for later.
 I am thankful for showing me that I should frame myself with people that will make you shit your pants when they visiting your home, that will make you rush to go buy wine glasses and roll the red rug for them and check if everything around the house is well and mostly yourself because those are the people whom in a way will inspire you to do better with yourself not those one that when they come; you don’t bother changing your nightwear and give less a care if they drink wine in a juice glass. Thank you for teaching me to never give equally as given and to not count your giving and expect some, just give to give out of love and give some more and more if you have/ can.
The best face paint is your smile. There is no beauty like the one this comes from inside of you. In case you might decide to stalk me and visit my blog to check if you still much of a celeb like you left, do me a favor, play that Tyga ft Young Thug song “hookah” OUR SONG and keep smiling. 😊

"HOMOSEXUALITY IS NOT A SIN!"

This morning I woke up to a link right on my face from the blogger himself Mr PKK, the guy I have always admired.


 
Check his thoughts out loud article on "HOMOSEXUALITY IS NOT A SIN!" in caps lock 🔒. Too profoundly powerful enough to change the thoughts of those who are homophobic and always liked referring or quoting from the scripture Leviticus 18:22 and Leviticus 20:13.




My wish was for this article to reach lots of deaf ears out there, so if i don't do so then who will?. Open the link & have a read, you wont regret it. 😎  ⬇





http://wp.me/p5Zw1J-9

AGE GAP#2ndEdition

I was deeply touched by this topic and then decided to do second edition of it even thou the first hasn't really been completed but hey... below is my little thoughts that are deeply engraved in my heart and my voice recorded reading the shebang below which I really dunno what to call it. I think it would really be felt if you listen to the recording than just reading it. so don't wait, just download it. :)

 

Maybe if I was rich id be adequate in your orbit

If I were bit older we’d laugh about our grey curls and our early 80’s era
And have fun… but I ain’t all that
Who are you? That mind that cares about people’s point of views?
Maybe if I had my own house and independent. You’d take me & it won’t feel so solitary …
But who am I? At-jus-21, I’ll build my way up
But why do I care? Good question!
I dunno but if it isn’t love
I dunno what it is… Jennifer knows
BIG AGE GAP DIFFERENCE
Maybe in the future you will find your match
That won’t be me
But maybe I hope, he all that you ever wanted
I’m so submissive to you but you never saw it…
But truly if you had dig deeper you would have seen it
But It is all hopeless
But you know what,
in the smog of all this,  
I’m no God 
I’m no furious, I’m happy
For my own I can conclude
Yes! maybe I wasn’t for you
Maybe God sent you for another reason
To build and instigate me to do great n be great
Till then…
I am still here and stay blessed
Merci, gracias, obrigada, thank you

Age Gap Vocal Download

 

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Slagga & I tryna Kill That Beat #Bimbasism

This is what happens if you're just having fun and creating memories with a friend.


I think this could have been a killer track if we were serious about everything and wrote the lyrics down.


Open the link below and listen to that pure craziness #Bimbasism, Keeping in mind we were saying whatever came to mind during the recording😂😂.




Your feedback will be highly Appreciated.
Gracias ✊ ⬇


Slagga & Vince - Kasi Boy #Bimbasism

WHO REALLY ARE YOU?...

#LATEPOST


My words are not influential enough to a stubborn headed being, grasp them if want too but don’t be shocked and pretend you never heard or seen the danger signal.

You came around and unlocked my other blinded future sight leaving me to reconsider roughly my future and the whole shebang around me. You're an inspiration, an icebreaker, guess that’s what appealed me to you. Full of get-up-and-go, know were you headed, have individual visions of things, money is your altar ego. How you surely HOPED one day the lottery machine would be on your side but hardly take part.

I don’t know! There were so many boo-boos that needed to be fixed in my existence, or perhaps how you desired them to be, I am not strong enough to let someone know how wounded I am internally, emotionally, or rather burst out and pick up each piece of puzzle which is jam-packed of pain and enlighten each of it in fine points, I CANNOT REALLY.

Fragile I am, being solo is where I am capable to share my innermost state of mind with myself, it’s where I belong, no dishonesties, 0% bullshit to deal with, it’s just yours truly “Vince”, my space, my gadgets and le music. What more could I possibly want? Zilch! I don’t need someone to make me happy. That’s my free zone resort, till you came. 

They said arguing builds a relationships, Us getting together its just about... "QUARRELLING”, Arguing its all I’ve known about you in your handsome formal attire, you had so much to say in a short period of time. Uncomfortable it would be, felt like picking my belongings and retrace my footsteps back to where my zone resort is. There should be more to that, entertaining side of you also matters to yours truly. I’m not judging or asking too much, we different and that’s what I like. I’ve continuously dodged arguing, ran away from it hence I’ve always applied Simplicity at its best “being single".

I don’t know who you are but you unlike the others, pain in the ass but charming, loving and thoughtful, kind being.

BEST WEEKEND

#LatePost


After a very bitter departure from the two people that had so much to talk about overlooking my presence. Their topic was so profound that I even tried to familiarize myself with but it didn’t help, in fact that made me look invisible to them. I felt like a misfit always on the fringes looking in but I left right away + I have a better soul that would appreciate ma existence but then again that’s a story for another day.

My Mind yelled Nathi! Nathi! Nathi!!!!!!!! He the only duke that can turn my-so-ugly-day around and make that incident feel like it was something that occurred long time ago and make it feels like they’re just a small tiny ants that needs to be swept away even though… Our relationship brings about many rich gifts that nourish my soul. In short, Bliss is one of them. He the guy to see knowing there’s never a dull moments when with. He makes my day worth it.

I sailed right away to him and Aaaah….. That’s when I got to finally meet o’Tebogo. I don’t know where to begin with this one; I fell in love with Tee instantly when I positioned my eyes on him. I took a flight of stairs & I thought “oh God! Finally Nathi once made it right, pity he screwed it up”. It is said you don’t know what you have until it is gone. He’s Shrewd, Sharp-witted, nonchalant, Ball of fun and here are two words that I picked out of him, He’s honest and a realist. I don’t know if I’m jinxing those two words. He spoke out of entity “real existence” and didn’t beat around the bush. In that, what he said or that is said by him is authentic, is genuine/ honesty too so in a way he takes the crown with both words. “You’re Majesty” as I bow….

I was blessed to celebrate Tee’s 21st birthday with but definitely it’s the other way around, he was blessed to celebrate it with me. Yeah No Q’s asked! Don’t dial that number, so we ran to the nearest liquor store and came back home. Drinking home with no music sucks so a very ghetto shabbean was suggested and we got there. To my amazement there were hotties in my surroundings everywhere I looked but that didn’t fascinate me that much until there was this one individual bundle Tee whispered to my ear to check him out. Hmm….. Perfection on another level, he was wearing a grey/black hoody written “Get paid” right on his chest. His flawlessness circled like bees in my mind pollinating my heart with ecstasy… at least I had something to look at now and then for a night. Trust me there’s nun fun than glancing at a very attractive/fine-looking folks and having fun at the same time.

The subzero of winter swept Nathi straight home “mara ke ngwana wa-June... Weird!” and with me & Tee the party was still on. The Dj was on it winding my emotions around the strings of deep house and commercial house melodies, for that moment I realized how much I missed going out and the people that makes the night more gratifying and thrilling as those tunes took me back then. I was in my moments reflecting back and flash backs making me to have a gigantic smile that when the lions sees it they would look for the an exist of the tunnel they got in with right away.
While in my moments Tee on the other hand has Bull’s eyes in noticing that ‘em niqqas were checking out on me, “get paid” as well. When I noticed that too I went bananas… knowing that “get paid” is busy having stolen gazes and when I look at him his eyes runs away! Mann it felt good. Well luckily Tee scooped Terra “one of ‘em dudes” through this eye to eye shebang. Ka-ching it was when he got his tenz but I think it wasn’t much of a bigger deal to him.

“get paid” on the other hand was on it nje ogling and the connection was so solid  but neither did one of us had the balls to approach each other or was it because he was with his friends so he couldn’t have made such approach whilst he’s with them Or where is it leaking?. “sigh” no one is there to fill in this blanket spaces that needs responses about such dude but himself.

The night didn’t get any younger so it was time for us to hit the highway. Funny he passed right next to me, I guess that was him saying “hey I’m leaving, goodbye” but it was sad to watch him leave. Slept over it and before noon he was just” o’Get paid” nje the obsession was gone. As all would do, we had a session of what happened last night through out that Sunday until it was time to hit the motorway back to where we live.

Tee took off in the Nightfall and it was my queue to leave too. Whilst in the cab, not so distant away from where I left Nathi he phoned me and told me I had his keys. Got off and strolled passed the bridge and as I was approaching the flats where “get paid” lived I was thinking about him and as I was, he showed up from the bushes unpredictably.  Right at the moment my heart skipped a beat, My stomach did the butterfly disco when I saw him and I clenched my teeth with that serious expression that screamed ghetto with a nonexistence of interest but psychologically, my mind and my heart and my feelings were drowning deep in tears of interest for that guy whilst the eyes never let go of each other. We ogled boldly at each other wishing I knew what was happening in his mind. It was like watching a movie playing in front of you but without audio to go with it.
As I watched him walk away I was going crazy like a little teenager who just saw his superstar crush and couldn’t stop going all wild about what happened few minutes ago. I Guess I bored Nathi to the core cause it was all about him, him, him… through out.

There will be next time and I’m trusting to have the nerve to just reach out to him and ask  him his name and get rid of this “get paid” tittle we gave him.


Hope we shall do it again sometime….. 

THE REBIRTH OF A PHYSICAL CONTACT

Now that my now so-called-ex came back from the work related trip at Amsterdam and it’s been a full week without me having to neither see him nor hear his voice and I must divulge, it has it been lonely. The silence that hit my ears with no resonances of his voice that sounded out over and over again seemed to have crawled back whenever it came from, is it because I am over him or the situation? I dunno. I really missed him and when I received his call this Friday I was thrilled and joyful to hear his voice and finally reconnected again.



“Hey Luther… There’s my friend’s party tonight and if you free, I’d love you to tag along” he said. I was free, besides being free there was no way I can say no to him, to my boo, my now turned to lets-just-have-fun buddy. I was excited to see him and we kissed and everything ran effortlessly until we go to the party.



Since I knew he was coming this Friday I sailed straight to Markham and bought him a watch which I myself was fond of and it is really a lovely piece of design which I wasn’t ready to let go of it before I enlightened to him about the history behind that timepiece. Me having to buy him a wristwatch instead of buying myself a pair of shoes which I ain’t got nun but because my heart and my love for him is explainable, I chose him and his stunning smile even thou it took two months of saving the little that I have and more than anything it gives me the greatest desire to see him smile or anyone else for that matter. I want him to value, respect it and know it isn’t just an ordinary watch with no importance and remember me with it.



But anywho… Got there and wow, good-looking old or probably getting there “old” people which is totally acceptable because the white dude that threw the party turned 30 but the problem is that they looked retired, retired from life and being wild or was it the music played that I didn’t feel the vibe or it was just the time difference between me and them or it was just me for having to think the total opposite of the party like I imagined it to be which I believe killed me because… look now?. There I was, in a reunion of gang of friends. Clinches thrown around, and right at that instant I took a flight of stairs and thought of my blog, a very fascinating story for my blog, let along the night entirely.



After settling Litha approached me and said “You must be having fun huh?!”… I laughed and said “actually no I am not”. He then said “I Know!” and on the other hand there was my boo dancing with some gay boy which I made it not my business or was he in it to for dancing or make Vince envious? Nice try. On that building block there was a private function pub which we went to after that party and man, I was feeling the vibe. Finally some good deep, commercial house and hip hop music. Met a stranger which claimed to be straight but my gaydar identified a lying gay man but we had a good long convo going not long when I saw my guy going to the restroom then I followed him.



Waited for him to get out of that room coz I didn’t know which he used. The moment he opened the door I quickly ran to it and pushed him back inside and he asked, “ooh you also here to pee?” then I replied… “no silly, I am for you!”. Got in and locked the door and enthusiastically and zealously threw myself on him and started kissing him, as much as he wanted to go I firmly held on to his no sleeve hoody right at his hips and pulled him right back closer to me and kissed him. While at it, pushed him right to the partition without letting go of him with our lips interlocked and kissed him again and again even still insisted on going back to the guys we were with. Could have seen his shining face, He loved it!  It was a stolen 5 minutes of pleasure and somehow it felt like we were back in high school. First time kissing a boy and all the games and the hiding or even better, like the first time getting so intimate together. I loved it and it was so exciting. Even took a selfie right after he left and I was drunk or perhaps I was getting there.



funny how much he has just been around and its bitter sweet, from knowing all the lodges around which he probably used them for sex, in a way its disgusting and makes me question his past. He was a busy boy plus he can do anything for sex, which says a lot about his age but I am judging and I should probably not. All the lodges were booked and everything has an ending and ours ended at the factory. Boy! It’s actually not bad as people make it to be or how I imagined it to be. It’s a huge place and the same stranger that I was with at that function pub was there, same dude my gaydar read on was there with a dude and he said “Hey Vince, shit happens” lmao I knew my gaydar never lies but hey…. As tired as I was, did our part and drove back around 5 am in the morning and along side the high way we stopped and snoozed there…


All out of honesty, I love and enjoyed being with him. I just dunno what’s so special about him, what is it about him? He just have a cute smile thou. In fact thinking about him just makes me wear a huge smile on my face. #T.P I LOVE YOU