A WIDOW OF AN EXISTING SOUL

Happiness? Define happiness… happiness can be well-defined in many ways and it does not hinge on what you have or who you are, it solely relies on what you contemplate. That happened, Happiness... you can’t find it or you don’t know what it is or you’re not given it or it’s just an excuse? Could this happiness be a widow maker?



Well I am widow… I loved and still do and my blissful monogamy seemed to turn to die-no-gamy, die on me and the love I thought he had for me and what’s intriguing is that the same soul that got me widowed is still alive and the other difference is, I am a man. But I feel like a widow because I loved and loves, had high anticipations and I believed this was it… but damn boy who was I fooling?!



You would never know if it was really about love or lust, thirst, desire that got the person you thought would be the one in a relationship with you. But what’s wrong with letting the person know how you want ya’ll to work before you kick start whatsoever with him? It hits me when I think of his erotic fantasy which I dragged myself into and because of love, you would do anything and literally having to shut few friends out for him, and now to my realization it was just lust. I guess I was lost in my own we-so-happy world and I was found by the same person that awaken the truth “finally” about how we can’t go on and date. But the happiness you’re seeking you can’t find it where there’s lust. I wish I was voiced from the start before it came to this, the love I pour it all up in his cup, the eggs I have placed them all in his basket.



With the months we shared I know there’s no soul alive that understand the other side of him like I do and I could go on and on about how but I read a man who is trapped. In the long run of that meeting with the thirst in my eyes and my heart for the truth, with no pauses and no rewinds… it was time to find where the story goes and I saw it all. It was okay; there was no need to explain the whole shebang. There was zilch to say for his eyes said it all. Last time I checked we had it all or I thought we did and I don’t know what happened to him. But I am glad I saw it coming and the truth came out eventually.



One has to be bolder than the one that can’t and find closure… be frank with you, accept the situation, smile and optimism for the best for there will be. You can’t make someone love you, love is a mystery, the unknown and destiny lies in the hands that set something free. Its tough to move on but once you have acknowledged the situation, it’s a piece of a tabloid in a tornado and yet it won’t be a laid-back settling when an update “could be his phone call or his name that pops up out of nowhere” aggravates all your inner demons ‘of how much I love him’ that have been locked away in the inmost parts of my heart.





I still love you but Rest assured I AM GONE…